The chapter opens with a description of the measles epidemic that's been going on in the United States lately. It's called adult measles, and it's caused by a person who has never played a video game in his or her life. When you get it as an adult, it can be very difficult to treat. For example, if you're obsessed with chasing a woman, you'll stop practicing sports and become an amateur athlete. You can't buy a concert ticket and wear happi on a tour bus because you've never tried a corned beef product. The chapter ends with a discussion of what it means to be an adult when you get a disease like measles. It sounds like a lot of people are getting sick and dying from the disease, but the narrator doesn't seem to understand what he's talking about. He's just trying to make fun of the fact that a person gets sick and then dies. The narrator then goes on to talk about how a person should never touch a person's body. He also says that if a person has a crush on a teacher, they have to get the measles now.