In this chapter, the author discusses the concept of "zero competition." He explains that there are many different types of exams, but not all are challenging. There is only one contestant for each type of exam, and that is why there is a boom in the "zero failure rate exam" . He compares this to the "island crab" from the Greek island of Illyria, which is so hot that some one else is going to die of heat exhaustion. He says that he should not have given up on exams with a "failure rate of zero" because he would have lost if he had gone for a "guy" instead of a "girl." He adds that if he did not buy his limited edition of the book, they would sell it for less than it would have cost to fight over the limited edition. If he had bought the full edition, he would not have had to compete for these tickets. He then goes on to explain that there is no such thing as a zero-competition election and that the only person running for president is a "student committee" who will vote on January 26 for him. The song ends with the author saying that he has lost faith in this "society" where he can lose even if he has zero competition.