Chapter twenty opens with a flashback to the beginning of the novel. It is now nineteen years after the events of the previous chapter, and the narrator is in high school, where he bullies a girl in his class. The girl is remorseful and repents, but the narrator does not know how she came to be so repentant. He wonders if he and azamino could have a relationship, and he wonders if it would hurt her. The narrator says that seeing her again has made him even harder for her. He feels that she was whining to him about the theater, and that she would enjoy it if he slept with her. This disgusts him. He goes on to say that he is physically repulsive and that he wants her to forgive him.