"Two - Week Vacation" The narrator complains that he's been out of work for two weeks. He wants to go to a party, but he can't find a place to park. He asks his mother to stop, but she doesn't want to, so he tells her to go ahead and get the party started. He tells his mother that he hasn't had sex in six months, and she tells him that she's glad that he isn't dead yet. He also tells her that he just bought some new sexy underwear, and he'd like to do the sexy thing in his bed. He's not sure if he likes it or not, but says he'll do it anyway. The narrator asks if he can do it in his own bed, and the narrator says he can. He says that he bought the underwear with his father's money, and that it was embarrassing for him to not leave the room. He then tells the narrator that he has been having sex with five different women in the last week. The first was a black girl, the second was a redhead, the third was an asian girl, and finally the fourth was a white girl. He compares himself to a king, and says that if his mother were more supportive, he would rule the universe. He goes on to say that if she weren't so bad, he wouldn't ask her to marry him in the first place. He admits that he married a "dictatorship bitch" because he was afraid of making any decisions on his own. He swears that he is going to "walk out that door" on top of everything.