"I'm fucked" is the first line of the play's first soliloquy, and it's about a guy who's been having an affair with his childhood friend. The guy's name is Elmire, and he's the one who has been having sex with Elmire. Elmire is all, "Dude, I'm not going to have sex with you anymore. I've got to go back to my room and get some sleep." Elmire doesn't want to go to sleep, so he tells Elmire to stop flirting with him. He's got a lot of other things to worry about, though, because Elmire's "only touching" him, and that's not good enough for Elmire . He asks Elmire if she's ever been honest with herself, and Elmire says no, but Elmire can't believe that Elmire would ever be honest with himself. She's a liar, Elmire tells us, and she'll be lying to Elmire when she tells him that she never flirted with him, or even kissed him. But Elmire won't listen to her, so she says she'