"I'm fucked" is the soliloquy of the protagonist, who is on an outing with his childhood friend. He feels that he has been "screwed" by his childhood buddy, who has "tweaked" his "pants" in public places. He's worried that he's losing his "mind" and that his friend is going to "cum" on him. He wonders why his friend would do such a thing, and wonders if he'll ever be able to "like an idiot" like her.