"I'm fucked" is the first line of the song, which begins with the narrator's declaration that he's been "fucked" by his childhood friend. He's about to go on a "company outing" when he realizes that his friend's "hole" is so small that he can't even put a finger into it. The narrator is all, "Dude, I just put my finger in the hole and it's just crazy twitch" . He doesn't know what else to say, but he does know that the "old man's" "dick" must be "tiny" , and that the hole is so big that it would be impossible for the man to escape. He also knows that the man has already put his "pussy" into the hole, so the narrator has no choice but to grab the man and "run away" from him . But the narrator is not about to run away, so he grabs the man by the shirt, and the two begin to argue about whether or not the man is "running away" or "escaped" from his "friend." The narrator tells the man that he just put his finger into the "hole," and the man says, "I just put it into . . but its crazy twitch !" . Then the narrator asks the man, "What's this?" . The man responds, "It's a twitch." . And then the narrator says something like, "Oh, I never knew what a twitch was." The man replies, "A twitch is a twitch. It's an involuntary movement of the body, a twitch is an involuntary motion of the tongue, and so on." The