Okay, now we're back to the story. This time, it's about a guy who's been having sex with a girl he used to hang out with in high school. The girl's name is Emily, and she's super-hot and super-sexy. Emily's a hot mess. She's got a crush on a guy named Ev'ryone, but she doesn't know what to do with her crush. Emily is super-excited about the prospect of sex with Ev, so she tries to make him feel sexy by making him feel like he's going to have sex with her. But she can't get him to do anything about it, because he'll just smack her in the face. Emily and Ev have sex all the time, and they're both super-annoyed by the whole thing.