The narrator wishes he could find a "sugar daddy" for himself. He'd give them a "huge sum of money" and "cut ties" with them "completely when that happens" . The narrator admires the narrator's family, education, and work, and he's in love with a man named Aaron. He doesn't know what to make of his relationship with Aaron, but he does know that Aaron is rich and treats him well. He says he admires her so much during his "most difficult times" , that it feels like everything goes to her. He wants to know if Aaron is a "charm" or a "competence," but he can't figure out what his relationship should be with Aaron. Instead, he decides to "just drink up" and get drunk. He asks Aaron to wait for him in his room, and when he does,