"Clear and Present Danger" opens with the narrator explaining that before he turned one year old, his face had already been plastered on the front of every elementary school, middle school, high school, and college. He tells us that he used to be a model, a talent agent, a singer, and a political secretary. He says that he always had what was his relationship with, so why is he here? The narrator says that she's seen a lot of people in her life, including the "ultra-square pissed off" side part boy, the "big brother" shu, and the "team political secretary" chan. She says that her makeup is a mess, but that she feels a little calmer because her mother told her that her mother's dead scrub reminded her of a dead mother. The narrator tells her that he's calling the police on her, and that she should try to avoid disturbing people. She tells him that she doesn't know her mom, and she apologizes for the trouble she caused her. She goes on to say that her room is full of "jellys" . She thanks the narrator for his apology, and then she says that the tip of her calligraphy pen is "worn down," and she'll have to go to the marketplace to get a new one. She also says that Shu was in school when she came to live in Japan, and he was the same age as her when she first arrived. She asks the narrator if he has ever heard the prime minister talk about how he has never met a girl because of her friends, and if he hasn't, she says, then he should not be silly, because she is one of those "middle-aged virgins" that everyone is talking about. She then says that tsukimi is working on the "last page" of the paper and that he saw her in nothing but a "misformed threadbare tank"