"The Ideal Date" The narrator apologizes to the girl for not having a "date" . He asks her if she's had a "strategy meeting" the night before, and she says she hasn't. He tells her about a new shop that's going to make her "wishes come true" , and he asks if she wants to open it. She says she doesn't, and the narrator tells her that there's more than one woman in the shop who wants the same thing. The narrator tells the girl that she looks like "an elementary school student," and the girl says she'll "strap it onto something" even if it isn't cute. The girl tells the narrator that she likes period music, and that she'd been invited to live with her father. She asks if the guy she saw walking with her sister is the same guy who confessed to her that he loves her. He says he's "sleepy sleepy," and she tells him that she can't resist feeling bad for him. She tells him to "murgle chatter" about the "pamphlets," and he says that he'd like to go to see "The Princess Bride" with her, too, but that she wouldn't do it because she doesn1t want to "date me." The girl says that she told him how she felt once, and made it seem like a joke, but she can cheer her up when she feels like she can do nothing. She wants to stay by her father's side, she says.