The narrator tells us that he's in the middle of a fight with the guards, and that his boss is there to support him. He says that the guards are kind, but that they're not the best at being guys. He's worried about his boss, and he tells the guards to hurry up and act like their real, real boyfriend. The narrator thanks the guards for making him feel better, and tells them to eat some leftover fruit from the kitchen. He tells them that the worst thing that could happen to them is for someone to steal the fruit. The guards are all excited, and the narrator says that if he could use a little surveillance to catch the thief, he'd be able to do so. He also says that maybe he should ask his girlfriend, who's cute, if she's not really in love with him, and then he could ask her as a sex partner. The men are all worried, but the narrator tells them not to worry, because he'll be there to protect them.