"I'm coming home" is the first line of the song, which begins with the narrator's declaration that he's coming home because his "fiancee cheated on me" . The song ends with him lamenting that his "room whoosh" is "the worst room whoosh ! . . whoosh, the countryside" , and that he "spledged on this suitcase" and "these heels" and now "they're ruined." He begs the stranger to give him a ride home, but the stranger refuses, saying he'll "catch a cold" if he doesn't. The narrator complains that the stranger "splashed" him with "scared mud" and that his car "in the pouring rain" cost him "$10,000" for repairs. He also complains about the stranger's "defiant behavior" towards him, calling him a "stupid old brute" and a "choke calling me stupid old brute." Finally, the narrator calls the stranger a "crazy bastard" and asks him to "release what the hell" he has done to her. He then goes on to say that he is on his way back to town, and he asks the stranger if he can "slam shock strip" on him and "swamp" him for sex. The stranger responds that he can't, because he has a "towel or anything" and so he just "drys off" with the shock strip.