The song opens with a soliloquy by cynnie, who says that dreams like this never change, that they never change. They are cold, and they sting. At some point, "that constant nightmare, Lei xi" is born. He asks if the people who treat him as "Lien lin" treat him the same way they treat the other children. He wonders why they called him by his true name, and wonders if it's really necessary to make him "obedient" after his body "stabilizes" so that he can "live as the real Lei lin." He wonders if the other people who treated him like this are criticizing him for doing so, and he wonders if they're really sorry for him. He says that he's had enough, and that he apologizes for his inaction in the past, but the girls and the young man who were supposed to exist because of the "Liens" are innocent. He feels that the first time he touched him, he felt a "different" sensation, not just because of his gender, but because he was "forced to create" with other people. He wants to know what kind of "existence" he has, and asks bang where he is. He doesn't see him in the morning, but wonders if he really needs to open the door to get up