It's the holiday season, which means it's time for a "fake marriage" . We're not exactly sure what this is supposed to mean, but we're guessing it'll involve some kind of sex toy. The narrator is all, "What kind of toy is this? It doesn't look like a cigarette, does it? It looks like a fossilized pack of cigarettes." The narrator's not sure what's going on, but he's pretty sure that this isn't going to be a fake marriage. He's also not sure that the guy who's supposed to be in charge of the toy is actually there. He wonders if the toy might actually be fossilized like the old pack he found in the house one time. Okay, now we get to the part where the narrator asks the guy why he didn't just close the door. The guy says that it was so unexpected that he didn