The narrator tells us that he likes his school because it's so well-run. He also says that his mom used to prepare sausage and eggs for him to eat before every exam. The narrator says that he heard his uncle put the University of Oxford's motto, "England is too hard," on his bedside. He says that if he stayed in England long enough, he'd "go bald." The narrator then tells us about his brother, who's studying at Harvard, and how he's not getting into Harvard because his major is "difficult to get in." He also tells the narrator that he used to think that he went to Harvard because of his uncle, but now he thinks that his school is great because of the school's proximity to Cambridge, Massachusetts. A sophomore at the school comes to visit the narrator, and the narrator tells him that he always thought that his brother went to college because his uncle went to school there. But now he realizes that all the schools he wrote down for his brother's application were recommended to him by his uncle.