At the beginning of the chapter, the narrator asks the audience to choose between "the fake reality" and "the truth" . He chooses the truth, which is that he is in a relationship with a man named Lin Xiumin. He tells the audience that he has no other choice but to give Lin a kiss. The narrator is nervous, because he knows that both he and the man he is with are in a romantic relationship. He tries to control his emotions, but he is unable to control himself. The two kiss, and the narrator realizes that his first kiss was gone. He apologizes for the kiss, saying that he was fooled by the two men. He feels sorry for the others, because they went too far, and he is afraid that they will dislike him for it. He explains that during his internship, he was forced to work late every day and had no time to enjoy life. He thinks that his life should become more meaningful, rather than be like a robot. He wonders if he has had a bad night's sleep because of his alcohol consumption, and wonders if it will affect his recovery from his bipolar disorder.