The narrator introduces us to a young reporter named bong. He tells us that he's been training himself to be a good runner since he was a kid. He says that he used to run away from home when he was younger so that he wouldn't get beaten by his mom when he got older. He also says that the neighborhood is very quiet during the week and noisy during the weekends. He shows us a house with a lilac bush growing in it. He gives us a gift to give to him: a lilac. The narrator says that if he eats the lilac, he'll be able to get the life he wants. He asks the narrator to give him a kiss, and the narrator replies that he doesn't want to kiss someone who isn't his type. He wants to beat the crap out of the narrator.