"The Presleys," the narrator tells us, are "the hillbillies" . They're the ones who've kept the union strong, despite all the other problems in the world. And now they've got a new kid on the block, a little girl named tina. The narrator tells tina that someday she'll be like her mom, and that she won't be able to be happy until she's old enough to be her own boss. He tells her that other kids were afraid of clowns, and other kids weren't afraid of wimps. He says that tina is "a very special episode" about this, and he worries that she will grow up to be a woman and not be happy. He also says that he's never regretted anything he'd said, because he doesn't want to be like linda, who was "willfully blind" when she found herself a man. Aww, that's kind of like saying, "I don't know what's wrong with you, but I'm sure you're pretty stupid." The narrator then tells us that he saw "old man simons" and that he lost it on the "worst day" of his life. He thanks "him" for helping him, and thanks him again.