The narrator and his friend, Chris, are staying at a hotel in a "swarthy wary city," which is described as a "mystery story about a detective" . The narrator complains that he's starving and that his friend is stuck in "slam school" , which means that he can't return to school. He wants one "dear lord" to help him weather this injustice. He tells his friend to be nice and not to listen to his friend's advice that they should "put some sex" in their room. He says he'd "totally draw that" if he had sex in his room, but he doesn't want to write about it. He remembers a time when a couple lived happily and sold meat at a farmers market. Every Saturday, the couple sold meat, but only the woman who bought it showed up. They couldn't find out what had happened to their husband, so they sold the meat again. People started coming back to say that the last batch tasted "extra good," and the couple was happy until they realized that the woman had been raped by "enlarged tentacle monsters" in the schoolyard. He complains about his headache and says he won't be able to watch any movies or listen to any music because it might make his headache worse. He gives his friend the key to his room and tells him to get some sleep so he can be quiet when he gets back in. He asks his friend if he can hold the elevator, and the two exchange rooms.