The thunder is gathering, and the thunder is coming. It's not the "godly five thunders" that's causing all the trouble, it's the "crackle," "gold hoops," "bind," and "damn it." The thunder's coming, but the thunder isn't the "essence" of the spell that he's been using. He's being "counterattacked," and he doesn't know how to stop it. He knows that he can't just kill Parajika, but he can still save him if he just stops the "blood curse" now. He can still help him, he says, even if it means he'll have to kill his own father. He realizes that he and his father are here to save themselves, not to save the world.