After all these years, Colin has not changed one bit. He says that if his sister were still alive, he'd be the one who would be hurt first. Colin says that he's not a "compassionate person" and that he can't find anyone who likes him. It was Colin's sister who broke her heart first, he says, and it should be Colin who's the one hurt first, not Colin. If Colin had half the love for his sister as he does for Remy, it would not have ended up this way. He's a "selfish bastard" waiting for someone else to give him his "all" before he'll give them a "few crumbs of affection" . That's why Remy won't even talk to Colin because he knows that Colin will never be able to keep him. He doesn't want to be a "bastard" who always carries around the "thing" that someone gave him, and yet he can still say that with "a straight face" ! Colin reminds Colin that his birthday is coming up, and he wants to make sure that he gives it to her, not to anyone else.