I Made a Pervert Out of Him

Okay, so now we're back in the present tense, where we learn that the narrator has made a "pedo" out of himself. He's about to go to the bathroom, but he's got a plan. He wants to make sure that when he hugs the person he likes, he doesn't accidentally rub the person's skin with soap or anything else that'll make the person uncomfortable. He decides that he'll do it when he kisses the person, so that he won't be tempted to do it again when he goes to kiss someone else. He tells himself that if he kisses someone else, it's going to make them uncomfortable, so he wants to rub their skin in soap or something else that will make the people uncomfortable. Then, he says, he can kiss