"Happily divorced" is the title of the fifth and final chapter of the story. It opens with the narrator complaining that he's tired of waiting for his wife to wake up. He and his wife have been married for a year and a half, but now they're expecting their first child. The narrator complains about the fact that his wife's family doesn't seem to approve of his marriage. He's also worried about his daughter, who's going to be a baby girl in a few months' time. He asks his wife if she'd like to stay for dinner with him and his son-in-law, and she says yes. He tells her that they'll probably get married soon. He also tells her about another time they got married, and the narrator wonders if this time it was just a bad break-up. This time, he says, it was a good one, and they went out for dinner. He wonders if he should have tried another time to get married, but then he remembers that he threw a bunch of objects at his wife when they were out shopping. He says that throwing objects isn't a good idea, because it's a sign of domestic violence, and it makes his wife afraid. He wants to leave, but his wife reminds him that his daughter wants to see him, so he leaves.