The train is approaching, and the narrator tells us that he's on his way to the "secret springs," where he hopes to catch a glimpse of his lover. He's been waiting for ten years for this moment, and he doesn't know what to do. He wants to tell him what it's like to be "left behind," and he wants to make him fall in love with the "perfect gentleman," the kind of guy he'd "fall for" if he ever met him. The narrator says that he has worked hard to get to this point, but he never thought that his hard work would be rewarded with a trip to "the secret springs." The narrator feels "completely helpless," because he hasn't thought about his lover in ten years. He asks his lover if he'll go with him to the springs with him, so that he can "disap pear on" him. He says he wants the two of them to "hold hands again," so that they can "fill make him remember" the day they were kids, when they "held hands again." He feels "so happy" that he hates his lover so much. He can't bring himself to say anything, because "my god" is "throwing himself at me" with "misty eyes." He says that his plan has failed, because he loves his lover too much to "stand it." He admits that he was "an idiot" for coming up with such a stupid plan, and that he wants "to take care of" his lover, not to hurt him.