The narrator tells us that he and his friends have been hanging out at a pub called the "Dating Pub" after many "adventures of hardship" . He asks the bartender if he has something to tell him. The bartender tells him that the guys there are "huge perverts" and that if they do anything weird to him, he should tell him right away. The narrator asks if he can get some water for himself and the other guys, and the bartender says yes. He says that he's tired from the day's drinking, and that the game he played yesterday was fun. He tells the bartender that he didn't wear his clothes off because he enjoyed it, but that he will take off his clothes if the girl he loves takes off hers. He also says that she should take off her skirt because she's a freshman, and he says that if she doesn't, he'll take off the girl's skirt. He then says that they should drink and die, because he can see the "flames" in the men's eyes.