In this chapter, we learn more about Jonathan P. Wellington, the protagonist of the novel. He's an idiot, and he's trying to figure out how to raise money to buy new uniforms and food for his army. He tells us that most people call him "blowfish" because he has a weird medical condition that makes him look like a fish, but he doesn't want to sound like an idiot. He says that his army is growing, but first, he wants to get rid of the smell of his office, which is full of people who don't like him. So, he tells us, he brought Pinhead, his dog, to lunch at a place called "inky dinky" . They've got some really good food there, and it's super-fresh and super-nutritious, so they're happy to have a dog there. They also have a bunch of cool stuff like water guns, slingshots, and uniforms that look like they've been made by the coolest army in the history of the world. They all look super cool, and they all have some really awesome food, too, which makes them super-excited to fight.