The narrator tells us that the town of manor oaks in California is a "quiet town" filled with "normal people" . The narrator and his friend, Harold, are happy to be back in town. Harold has graduated from high school and is now working as a shoe repairman. He tells Harold that he would have graduated too if the police had not shut down Harold's school when he was arrested for stealing. He also tells him that he is glad that Harold got a higher education than he had originally planned. He says that he did find Harold at the army recruiting office. The army recruitment officer tells him to fill out an application. He asks Harold if he would like to be a soldier, and Harold says he would rather be a "lean mean fighting machine" than a "moron." The army recruiting officer tells the narrator that he can help him join the army if he answers the following questions: "Don't have What It Takes to Join the Army?" "Why Can't I Be a Soldier?" "I'll refuse you a hundred Times and I Keep Coming Back for More." "I can Turn Any Moron Into a Lean Mean Fighting Machine That's Me," the narrator says. "Splash Then He's Perfect for Me Because I'm Wet All Over." "Welcome to Harry's Boot Camp and Nail Salon," the recruiting officer says. He invites Harold to report for duty, and the two men go off to work. The recruiting officer gives Harold a "hand and foot makeover" , which he says is "the first new car I've