"Catched up in a Love Trap" , the narrator tells us, is the title of this chapter's opening soliloquy. He tells us that he's not in love with Sebastian, and that he doesn't want to sell Sebastian to the news. He says that Sebastian and he grew up watching their moms' backs, so they've decided to get married, even if it means selling the story to the press. The narrator says he'll try and find himself some happiness again, but first, he wants to make sure Sebastian and Sebastian aren't caught up in "a love trap" . Sebastian tells the narrator that Sebastian wants to go out on a date with him, and Sebastian says that's "kind of cute," but the narrator is not buying it. He thinks Sebastian is "greedy and stupid," and that Sebastian is a "serious, kinda scary guy" who won't "leave me all alone." The narrator tells Sebastian that he loves him so much that he just wants to "suck" him "whole" no matter what happens in the future.