The narrator introduces us to a guy who ate too many vegetables. He's in his mid-thirties, and his favorite thing to do is eat ramen. He also mentions that a cat ate so many tomatoes that it started streaming onto the side of the road. The narrator then introduces the landlord of the apartment complex where the guy lives, and the guy who works for him. The guy tells the narrator that he's out of shape, and that he doesn't have the energy to lose weight. He says that he wishes he were back in the South, where he used to live. He tells the guy that he feels homesick, and he wonders which of the two evils is the lesser of: hot soup in the summer or ice cream in the winter. He asks the guy if he'd give anything for a little "motiva" . He wants to go and find the "magic unicorn" , but he can't find the energy. The two old men who work for the guy are like housewives, and they gossip about what's going on in the world. He wonders why they don't charge for the food they sell, and then he asks if the guy has anything to share.